been thinking about the passed.

[Ejay123]

I have been feeling like crapy... should I run a ANTI est? or should I hit up a cycle? Some hard changes just happend in my life, and I am still in shock... any advice?

[Martek]

Did you just get off a cycle and are riding a roller coaster? Sry to hear the things are going down hill man, im sure people will try and point you in the right direction

[lola26]

I have been feeling like crapy... should I run a ANTI est? or should I hit up a cycle? Some hard changes just happend in my life, and I am still in shock... any advice?



wtf???

[Ejay123]

Yes, it have been like that for a little less then a year now, When i got off cycle... Any idea what i can do?

[lola26]

how old are you??

[FREAKNASTY]

Did you mean "past"?

[Ejay123]

im 24, and thanks for point that out.

[Martek]

im 24, and thanks for point that out.

My advice, dont do a cycle if you think it's gonna act all Dr. Phil on you and tell you the answers.. cycling isn't for that at all. Perhaps some zoloft or something to ease ur stress, pain, emotional stuff?

[gruvi]

Whatever low point in your life your at, remember that there's always worse. The sun will break through your dark cloud. Juice ain't the answer at the moment get your heart in the right place then consider it.
ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE.:cool:

[Martek]

Whatever low point in your life your at, remember that there's always worse. The sun will break through your dark cloud. Juice ain't the answer at the moment get your heart in the right place then consider it.
ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE.:cool:

Exactly, take it from me, im an alinboard member currently living in my car :) haha, but things will turn for the better, im just looking forward to when it does. So hope things go well.

[lunny]

How long ago did you get off cycle bro???

[datuca]

You should not juice to feel better! Maybe take a trip to bangkok?

[No-Go]

Juice will only amplify the emotional pain especially during PCT

[jjgonz]

bump everyone cycle is a bad idea bro...have some blood tests to make sure your hormones are ok tho

[Ejay123]

Thanks for all the support guys. The cycle ended about 6 months ago.

[tdizzle28]

Thanks for all the support guys. The cycle ended about 6 months ago.

I would go see a doc bro and let them put you on something, even if it is just for a short time...the best anti-depressant/anxiety med I can recommend is called Remeron...it works really well, will help you sleep, and will even help you gain some weight. Hang in there bro, everything will look up. We're all here if you need someone to talk to. :)

[FordTurboDiesel]

Probably has nothing to do with the gear and more of something else going on.

It's not my business but what has changed in your life? Are things compounding on you?

Many little things can lead up to one big issue.

Everything from work problems to people dying. It may not always manifest itself right away. I am 35 and find myself living in the past more and more. I think I just have a lot of regrets that I am not where I thought I would be at my age.

IOW there could be a lot of variables that are contributing, and maybe you feel this way for the right reasons, not necessarily for the wrong. It's only your body trying to act out against what's going on in your head.

Best advice I can give you is to seriously sit and think of things that could be bothering you and why. There are problems in the past that could always be adressed differently, but it's the past....you can't go back. Live your life for right now and that days ahead.

Get your ass in gear. Eat healthy, get to the gym, and meet quality people that you can surround yourself with. Anything negative is going to give you reason to become down.

[lowep3]

I agree with what everyone is saying. I took remeron about a year ago to deal with some depression I was going through(just broke off a 4 year relationship). It really helped me out. Talk to your doctor about getting on an anti-depressent. Lifting will also help you out. A good workout releases seretonin in your brain.

[Theatrix]

See your GP and have panels done. Once the results come back (couple of days) you can always jump on an anit-depressant. My first guess guess is that you did not recover with PCT.

[Krom]

I don't know maybe a little test will perk him up... Hit the gym make some killer gains sounds better than zoloft to me.

[Machola]

i usually keep my personal shit off this site but things aren't great here either. it's been 47 days since i've used opiates and i want to punch everybody i see in the throat and bite their fucking face off!!! i stopped talking to my wife and we've only been married 2 1/2 months. she's begging me to go back on the morphine but i can't because of drug tests... we all have problems. life sucks then you die. be a man and deal with it.

[FordTurboDiesel]

Shit like this I hate to hear:
i stopped talking to my wife and we've only been married 2 1/2 months

Smarten the fuck up. Its one thing to put yourslef through hell...don't drag someone else down with you. Get pissed or not, you know Im right. Fuck, you just got married.....poor girl should still be on the honeymoon, not some nightmare.

[tdizzle28]

Shit like this I hate to hear:


Smarten the fuck up. Its one thing to put yourslef through hell...don't drag someone else down with you. Get pissed or not, you know Im right. Fuck, you just got married.....poor girl should still be on the honeymoon, not some nightmare.

Bump this, don't take it out on her, let her help you work through it.

[Martek]

I agree man, you got married and it was til death to us part, not til this crap do us part.. you need to show your wife you care and honestly if you did more and more she'd be there for you. I know my future Wife Sherai will be the best ever, when im down, or like now, im in a car, shes the best ever to me and keeps me happy. Its her that keeps my spirits up and you should really feel the same about your companion.

Shit like this I hate to hear:


Smarten the fuck up. Its one thing to put yourslef through hell...don't drag someone else down with you. Get pissed or not, you know Im right. Fuck, you just got married.....poor girl should still be on the honeymoon, not some nightmare.

[tdizzle28]

I agree man, you got married and it was til death to us part, not til this crap do us part.. you need to show your wife you care and honestly if you did more and more she'd be there for you. I know my future Wife Sherai will be the best ever, when im down, or like now, im in a car, shes the best ever to me and keeps me happy. Its her that keeps my spirits up and you should really feel the same about your companion.

Probably none of my business Mar, but how come you don't just go live with your girl?

[Martek]

Probably none of my business Mar, but how come you don't just go live with your girl?

Nah its all your business bro, im thankful to have friends, bros, and people who are curious to know whats up with my life and I appreciate it :) Actually, she still lives with her parents and her four sisters and big brother.. so thats why.. but remember, im off to live with my twin bro pretty soon. He just told me I am able to move in very soon so i'll talk with him today :) This can be good. I have to hand him 300 up front and I get to stay there and pay small rent

[tdizzle28]

Nah its all your business bro, im thankful to have friends, bros, and people who are curious to know whats up with my life and I appreciate it :) Actually, she still lives with her parents and her four sisters and big brother.. so thats why.. but remember, im off to live with my twin bro pretty soon. He just told me I am able to move in very soon so i'll talk with him today :) This can be good. I have to hand him 300 up front and I get to stay there and pay small rent

That is cool, you seem like a good guy, I hope it works out well for ya. Now let's quit thread jackin! :)

[FordTurboDiesel]

curious

Hey B, you know where always curious about our online friends....it's a support system you know...but you have to undertand man, and I don't know how to put this.....but there's a difference between being curious and you thinking we mean Bi-curious all the time.

[Martek]

Hey B, you know where always curious about our online friends....it's a support system you know...but you have to undertand man, and I don't know how to put this.....but there's a difference between being curious and you thinking we mean Bi-curious all the time.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

[tdizzle28]

Hey B, you know where always curious about our online friends....it's a support system you know...but you have to undertand man, and I don't know how to put this.....but there's a difference between being curious and you thinking we mean Bi-curious all the time.

Wha?? :confused::eek:

[Martek]

That is cool, you seem like a good guy, I hope it works out well for ya. Now let's quit thread jackin! :)

Yes for sure lets quit the thread jackin.... haha and thanks, I try to stay positive.. that makes for a better life.

[FordTurboDiesel]

Wha?? :confused::eek:

What im trying to say to Martek in the most polite way I can is that we may be curious about our oline friends, but not in a bi-curious sort of way which he seems to hope for!:)

[tdizzle28]

What im trying to say to Martek in the most polite way I can is that we may be curious about our oline friends, but not in a bi-curious sort of way which he seems to hope for!:)

Lol...I thought you were talkin to me, I was like damn, am I giving off that kinda vibe...I need to retrace my steps and see where I went off the hetero trail...:D:D:D

[Martek]

What im trying to say to Martek in the most polite way I can is that we may be curious about our oline friends, but not in a bi-curious sort of way which he seems to hope for!:)

Have you been snooping into my GayPlan book again?? Oops, I mean GamePlan Book:mad:

[FordTurboDiesel]

Have you been snooping into my GayPlan book again?? Oops, I mean GamePlan Book:mad:

LMAO....thats funny.

[cpesloco]

I have been feeling like crapy... should I run a ANTI est? or should I hit up a cycle? Some hard changes just happend in my life, and I am still in shock... any advice?

I go through shit like that too, I think everyone does. At times I am happy with my life and then there are times I feel I need change. It sucks and I probably bring most of it on myself. When feeling down nothing like a fun night with the boys hanging at the strip club. That works for me anyway. Life's tough man you have to learn to deal with it in your own way.

[tdizzle28]

I have been feeling like crapy... should I run a ANTI est? or should I hit up a cycle? Some hard changes just happend in my life, and I am still in shock... any advice?

How old are you? What is your current life situation...in a relationship or not, lots of close friends, etc?

[Machola]

Smarten the fuck up. Its one thing to put yourslef through hell...don't drag someone else down with you. Get pissed or not, you know Im right. Fuck, you just got married.....poor girl should still be on the honeymoon, not some nightmare.

wth? did you hear my situation? i'm trying to get clean and the bitch is telling me to use again. anyway, the post was not for you assholes to comment on because i don't give a shit what you have to say. i was telling this guy that life can kick your ass, you just have to deal with it.

[FordTurboDiesel]

wth? did you hear my situation? i'm trying to get clean and the bitch is telling me to use again. anyway, the post was not for you assholes to comment on because i don't give a shit what you have to say. i was telling this guy that life can kick your ass, you just have to deal with it.

The way you said it came across differently, but seeing you want to be a dick you can just go screw yourself. If you don't want to hear what we have to say whether it's in your favor (like this was) or not, then do yourself a favor and don't post.

[Martek]

The way you said it came across differently, but seeing you want to be a dick you can just go screw yourself. If you don't want to hear what we have to say whether it's in your favor (like this was) or not, then do yourself a favor and don't post.

I agree, if you dont give a shit what we all have to say or think about this, you shouldn't make it publicly known and post it dude.

[FordTurboDiesel]

You know, I could care less about what people's problems are, but when you give a fellow member, and even his wife who've you've never met a little support he breaks out in a rash like your crucifying him or something....

gessh. I thought this was one of the reasons we rely on this forums.

[Ejay123]

How old are you? What is your current life situation...in a relationship or not, lots of close friends, etc?

Im 24, I live at home with dad/mom, my brother(he was my bestfriend) married off (does not talk to me anymore. we use to hang out 24/7), I work for my dad, SAME THING over and over again, days never change, I make good money... my distant friends seem to steal/ask for money all the time, my other bestfriend just got hooked on cocaine/crack, he asks me to do some with him all the time... so I had to let em all go/stop talking to him, when I see my brother he brings things up that I really don't like to talk about. As far as a girl, my brother is going to hook me up with one of his wifes many friends this friday.

My mom always trys to start shit with me.

My dad is like a log, just work / eat / sleep.

My older brother was stealing money from my dad.

[tdizzle28]

Im 24, I live at home with dad/mom, my brother(he was my bestfriend) married off (does not talk to me anymore. we use to hang out 24/7), I work for my dad, SAME THING over and over again, days never change, I make good money... my distant friends seem to steal/ask for money all the time, my other bestfriend just got hooked on cocaine/crack, he asks me to do some with him all the time... so I had to let em all go/stop talking to him, when I see my brother he brings things up that I really don't like to talk about. As far as a girl, my brother is going to hook me up with one of his wifes many friends this friday.

My mom always trys to start shit with me.

My dad is like a log, just work / eat / sleep.

My older brother was stealing money from my dad.

Damn bro...well, maybe things will go good with this girl on Friday night. Sounds like you need to start over with your friends, if they are doing shit like that to you, then they aren't truly friends. Perhaps try moving elsewhere and getting a place to yourself...I know if I still lived with my parents, I would be depressed too. Wish you all the best bro, there is always someone here to chat with if you need to talk.

[MadMatt28]

Things always look better as long as you keep your feet moving in the right direction. I'm a recovering alcoholic and I'm facing 2 D felonies. Sometimes I ask myself if I'm moving in the right direction. As far as staying off of the drugs I would highly recommend going to NA or AA or some type of support group. You need people who know what you are going through. I can't count all of the people I've met who have gotten sober to find out that they were married to the wrong person. Don't use AAS to cope with your probems or they will continue to grow and come crashing down that much harder. The last thing you need is a substance.

[FordTurboDiesel]

I grew up in a family business. Same thing. limited quality friends.

Things that worked for me.

1. I have a circle of bars and restaurants I eat at. Once you go a few times you get to know the people working there cause your a familiar face. It's the start of small talk which leads to networking.

2. I go to the same nightclub near my house. It's a laid back place, but if your confident enough to walk in there by yourself and you look decent, people will approach you. Hell, girls approach me and most are intimidated by my looks. I don't mean my size either. IM not even 200, I just have the pyscho look on my face. A lot of women probably look at me like Im a fixxer upper.
Eventually, bartneders and bouncers get to know you and if they know you, people will approach you because theyve seen you talking to OTHER regulars.

3. The point is, make yourself noticeable. I don't even hang around with my old friends anymore. Everywhere I go now is like CHEERS. Everyone knows me and respects me cause they see me carry my own weight.
You'll be fine....you just need to get out there and network with people, but you need to put yourself in the position where you can network.

[Ejay123]

Thanks for those word mat and turbo, it really helps, i think i need new friends... I am not into drugs nor have i even tried anything but weed when i was like 11.


I will give it a try in the bar thing turbo..


It is kinda like i need a Girl, or a bestfriend.

[Krom]

i usually keep my personal shit off this site but things aren't great here either. it's been 47 days since i've used opiates and i want to punch everybody i see in the throat and bite their fucking face off!!! i stopped talking to my wife and we've only been married 2 1/2 months. she's begging me to go back on the morphine but i can't because of drug tests... we all have problems. life sucks then you die. be a man and deal with it.

I know how tough it is. I've been off opiates for 9 years and it took a few times to kick. You should go to an AA meeting. And for shits sake DON'T get back on morphine.

[InkFiend33]

been through the opiate battle too... it is really hard.... just keep at it.... it gets easier once it is outta your system.... it took me a few tries... let me know if you need any help

[Machola]

sorry for the hijack in advance. turbo gave some good advice there. good luck to you.

thanks krom and ink. can't say i'm staying positive but my will is strong. relapsing is not an option. methadone maintenance is not allowed either. i'm enrolled in a nursing program in the fall. they may test. nursing job will definitely test. hair follicles will be clean in about 40 more days and i'm good to go. the hard thing is a lot of people want the old happy mellow me back. i'm a psycho without the stuff. i was before i used and i will be from now on. it really evened out my personality. its a shame its illegal. but what can you do?... thanks again guys.

[FordTurboDiesel]

Wanna hear something weird?

Im a psycho off aas. When I am on, I am mellow. How fucking wacky is that shit right there. Im so mellow I don't even want to go to the gym. I just want to sit home and eat.

Ejay, don't go out and get hammered man. Im just saying, you can go out and chill by the bar and sip on a beer for awhile. Just mind your own business. Tip the bartenders as best you can cause they'll always take care of you and you'll see them come over and talk in their down time. They always want to know who their customers are. Sooner or later you'll be talking to the bartender and other people that are friendly with him/her will come over and start BS'ing because the ice has already been broken with the bartender. Your more or less a friend of a friend.
Restaurants/breakfast places, etc, etc....don't know what your daily routine is, but if you make yourself a regular at places you'll network and meet normal people. Once areound normal people, you won't even be thinking about getting on the sauce cause it's just not the normal thing to do. We all have our issues, you just have to find a way to handle them better. Most of the time that means changing your mindset and the environment your in.

[Krom]

I used to be a psycho but I did that AA program a worked those steps and it really helped me gain some self control. Took a while but I had to change my out look or perception on life. I still have some battles with depression probably some of its because I haven't had a girlfriend in 10 years. I did get some action from a 220lb fatty last year but other than its been years. (and some of you think you have it bad!)

Sometimes I'd get horribly depressed and lose my temper but its been 3.5 years since I got like this. I thank God for making me better.

[flatblack]

I used to be a psycho but I did that AA program a worked those steps and it really helped me gain some self control. Took a while but I had to change my out look or perception on life. I still have some battles with depression probably some of its because I haven't had a girlfriend in 10 years. I did get some action from a 220lb fatty last year but other than its been years. (and some of you think you have it bad!)

Sometimes I'd get horribly depressed and lose my temper but its been 3.5 years since I got like this. I thank God for making me better.

whoa, i wouldnt even call thata dryspell thats something unnameable:(....depression sux tho and i'm very familiar with it...been really depressed the last month or so...dont wanna go to the gym...i have this nagging fucking ache in my stomach thats not physical, i know what it is...but when youve had it b4 u know it also goes away, unfortunately in its own time.......

[tdizzle28]

whoa, i wouldnt even call thata dryspell thats something unnameable:(....depression sux tho and i'm very familiar with it...been really depressed the last month or so...dont wanna go to the gym...i have this nagging fucking ache in my stomach thats not physical, i know what it is...but when youve had it b4 u know it also goes away, unfortunately in its own time.......

I know the heartache you speak of Flat...I think that's one reason I keep my girl now at a distance, don't want to get fucked over again. :(

[ironfreak703]

i think what brings us all together as the human race is that we are all in this together. some are better off than others, and some are alot worse. we all have problems no matter how big or small, whether it be problems at home, an addiction whether it be physical, or mental, ect. but no matter what u just have to know that someone out there is having alot worse problems than u, and they are working through it... just as all of us should. in the end it comes down to the fact that its alot better to be alive, living ur life, no matter how tough that is, than to be rotting in the ground, and having people forget who u are. keep ur hopes high, and ur dreams even higher

[flatblack]

I know the heartache you speak of Flat...I think that's one reason I keep my girl now at a distance, don't want to get fucked over again. :(

uh no dude, i'm not heartbroken..what gave ya that idear?

[Martek]

Anyone got a penis pump? ... (Shit wrong thread)

[tdizzle28]

uh no dude, i'm not heartbroken..what gave ya that idear?

Just from your previous post...it's ok, you can cry on my shoulder big boy! :p:D:D

[flatblack]

Just from your previous post...it's ok, you can cry on my shoulder big boy! :p:D:D

haha, no i did just break up with a gf, but for some reason that doesnt bother me all that much, ive got a few irons in fire in that dept...one of my best friends killed himself about a month ago and thats kinda where my bad brains got started recently...never woulda thought it would feel so fucked up about something cuz usually i dont give a shit about much...just cant shake this bummed out feeling tho...got laid off recently, broke up with my gf etc but i think my buddys death has affected me more than anything else....so there ya go...u asked for the wet shoulder, now u got one............:D

[tdizzle28]

haha, no i did just break up with a gf, but for some reason that doesnt bother me all that much, ive got a few irons in fire in that dept...one of my best friends killed himself about a month ago and thats kinda where my bad brains got started recently...never woulda thought it would feel so fucked up about something cuz usually i dont give a shit about much...just cant shake this bummed out feeling tho...got laid off recently, broke up with my gf etc but i think my buddys death has affected me more than anything else....so there ya go...u asked for the wet shoulder, now u got one............:D

<< Squeezes out shirt...that is tough situation there big guy...I don't usually get upset by death or anything else, I just see it as another part of life, but there are a select few that I think would affect me very much, and I don't even know where my head would be at. Sorry to hear that.

[Machola]

i think what brings us all together as the human race is that we are all in this together. some are better off than others, and some are alot worse. we all have problems no matter how big or small, whether it be problems at home, an addiction whether it be physical, or mental, ect. but no matter what u just have to know that someone out there is having alot worse problems than u, and they are working through it... just as all of us should. in the end it comes down to the fact that its alot better to be alive, living ur life, no matter how tough that is, than to be rotting in the ground, and having people forget who u are. keep ur hopes high, and ur dreams even higher

well said

[ironfreak703]

came from the heart bro

[lunny]

haha, no i did just break up with a gf, but for some reason that doesnt bother me all that much, ive got a few irons in fire in that dept...one of my best friends killed himself about a month ago and thats kinda where my bad brains got started recently...never woulda thought it would feel so fucked up about something cuz usually i dont give a shit about much...just cant shake this bummed out feeling tho...got laid off recently, broke up with my gf etc but i think my buddys death has affected me more than anything else....so there ya go...u asked for the wet shoulder, now u got one............:D

Flat sorry to hear that bud!! i lost my best friend in 10th grade and im still fucked up about it!!! the pain will dull in time.. you need any thing ya know where here for ya!!!! well i cant speak for all these fuckers but i am!!

[flatblack]

Flat sorry to hear that bud!! i lost my best friend in 10th grade and im still fucked up about it!!! the pain will dull in time.. you need any thing ya know where here for ya!!!! well i cant speak for all these fuckers but i am!!

yer the man dude...just doing my thing here...my work situation should be looking much better this coming week then fla. in 2 months:D

[Krom]

haha, no i did just break up with a gf, but for some reason that doesnt bother me all that much, ive got a few irons in fire in that dept...one of my best friends killed himself about a month ago and thats kinda where my bad brains got started recently...never woulda thought it would feel so fucked up about something cuz usually i dont give a shit about much...just cant shake this bummed out feeling tho...got laid off recently, broke up with my gf etc but i think my buddys death has affected me more than anything else....so there ya go...u asked for the wet shoulder, now u got one............:D

Damn that sucks flat. Sorry to hear about that.

Is it something in the air? I lost my grandmother a month ago and some work. I try my best to not let shit affect me.

[flatblack]

Damn that sucks flat. Sorry to hear about that.

Is it something in the air? I lost my grandmother a month ago and some work. I try my best to not let shit affect me.

oh me either, i'm a hard fucker most of the time...but sometimes u dont have control over how things affect u, they just do...i'm surprised at myself, but as in all things both good and bad, this too shall pass.............and sorry for the loss of yer grandmother...

[Ejay123]

*Update, Things went well with this girl, she was looking fine, I got all dressed up, IT FELT GOOD not to be in work cloths 24/7, Took her to a sushi bar, and sipped green tea, she is VERY Freaking smart.... working on a PHD or someshit like that, she is also like 100,000$ in the hole from all her school.... <<that part putt me off...

Anyway, I got a kiss/number.... gave me something to jack it too...

Today I felt 200% better... I took my mother out to see The Eyes... with that fine alba chick.

FlatBlack, Thank you for sharring that with us, I love that "this too shall pass" I've been saying when I get down during the day.... keeps me strong.

My brother's wife, she HAS all kinds of latin girls she can hook it up with!! she work at a hospital, she is a RN, She has me lined up to date another nurse....

[Rickybobby]

Thats good to hear bro.
all things will pass.
keep a stiff upper lip and look forward to the next day its only going to get better and stat cool:cool:

[MadMatt28]

sorry for the hijack in advance. turbo gave some good advice there. good luck to you.

thanks krom and ink. can't say i'm staying positive but my will is strong. relapsing is not an option. methadone maintenance is not allowed either. i'm enrolled in a nursing program in the fall. they may test. nursing job will definitely test. hair follicles will be clean in about 40 more days and i'm good to go. the hard thing is a lot of people want the old happy mellow me back. i'm a psycho without the stuff. i was before i used and i will be from now on. it really evened out my personality. its a shame its illegal. but what can you do?... thanks again guys.

"the hard thing is a lot of people want the old happy mellow me back." I know what you are going through there. What I've learned is that once you are addicted to something and your attitude/actions change people adapt to it. People around us change too. When we quit than people don't know how to act. If you stay off the dope long enough and do relapse you'll find that the same is true again. People adapt to you it just takes time.